11/11/2024 Let freedom ring: witnessing the dawning of normalizing grief for significant lossRead NowWe are grieving as a nation…
“Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.” - The Grief Recovery Institute If we go by this definition, enormous collective grief is being experienced here in the United States post the November 5, 2024 election: a familiar pattern of behavior is changing or ending. It doesn’t matter which mode of reaction you used to grieve; it matters that you give yourself permission to grieve. The older we get, the more rocks (pebbles, stones or boulder size losses) we carry in our backpack. Eventually that backpack breaks and we do not know what to do with those losses that seem to spill out everywhere. Some of us shut down completely and internalize our feelings (freeze), some of us explode at anyone and externalize their feelings (fight) and some of us are dismissive of what is happening and try to run away with our feelings (flight). The older we get, the more challenging it is to use our old defense mechanisms. We discover they no longer work. Add a nationwide loss, and those old triggers show up looking for some of your attention. Are we going to give ourselves the space to grieve this time? Are you having difficulty concentrating? Feeling numb? Experiencing a roller coaster of feelings and emotions? Erratic sleeping and eating patterns? All of these are symptoms of grief. Knowing these symptoms hopefully will give you the permission to be a little more compassionate and patient with yourself. This is temporary. This is not forever. There are no stages of grief that you have to pass through in order to be "ok" again. There are, however, feelings that will come and go, feel high energy and low energy. Letting go of what you wish could have been better or different is the practice that will bring you to peace. Don’t “Be strong” and do allow yourself the space and time to “feel bad”. Most of us have been told or have been raised to “be strong” during tough times in our lives. Yes, we do need resiliency AND we also need self-compassion; it is possible to experience both at the same time. Those unpleasant feelings (“bad” feelings of loss of the country that you once knew, the loss of trust and safety) need some place to go. They need to be named, witnessed and validated. Allow someone to be a heart with ears for you. Instead of Grieving Alone (old "normal"), Grieve Together (new "normal"). The gift in this election was seeing beautiful humans express their pain and loss- their grief- openly in public forums. This is the dawn of the normalizing of grief instead of demonizing it. Find a community that would honor your feelings of grief and explore how to make meaning from the loss. We were never meant to grieve alone. Surround Yourself with some “Hearts with Ears” aka nourishing communities. These are those beautiful humans who listen more, and talk less. They do not demonize, criticize or minimize your feelings. Instead, they instead help you to name them and simply listen. Then you get to do switch and be a "Heart with Ears" for them. The true gift of generosity, connection, and self-preservation. Would you like to become a “Heart with Ears” for someone? Do you need a "Heart with Ears" for yourself? Join the weekly “Heart with Ears” community here. You may find some intrinsic peace and freedom instead of staying stagnant and stuck. Remember, YOU are the “ home of the free and the brave”. Let your freedom ring. #grief #loss #grievingnation #freedom #peace
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AuthorCat Mama & Grandma Archives
November 2024
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