Unsafe Structure: The fire that saved me

I temporarily lost our home for a year as a result of a fire from my neighbor.

This displacement of living in hotels in six weeks, and eventually a rental was not part of my plan as I began my new role as New Jersey's Region I's McKinney-Vento Navigator
the month prior to the fire. 

The purpose of this job was to bring awareness to schools, communities and families about how the McKinney-Vento federal law eliminates barriers to education for children and their families who are temporarily housed. 

I guess you can joke that I took my job very seriously. 

​However, it was the best thing that happened to me. 

I gained so much perspective on loss and what is needed tin order to thrive in our society: permanent housing, connection and grief recovery from loss. 

While  navigating my personal losses, 
and working in this new role, 
I discovered resources
I did not know were available when I was an educator.

I learned of the unsung heroes that work without recognition
to make the world a better place for those who are underserved. 

I listened to single mothers and families who were scared, confused and lost.
They were grieving without support, 
showing up every day as best as they could 
to keep living this one most precious life. 

​The best practice I learned from all these beautiful people was
to actively listen without fixing, 
to support and value one's strength during one's most challenging time, 
and ask-
not tell them-
if they needed help. 

I discovered that 

"How can I support you?" 
instead of 
"What do you need?" 
was more empowering and less demoralizing. 
It sent the message that 
"We are doing this together" 
instead of  traditional 
"charity work" of pity. 

Like them, I did not want pity. 
Like them, I did not want to be a bother. 
Like them, I wanted to still believe that I belonged to something bigger than my loss:
humanity. 

I took this message
-their messages-
to school districts, superintendents, agencies and organizations through
my tailored made trainings, workshops and presentations. 

The more I learned from them,
the more I adjusted my teachings to others who would be serving them. 

The more I learned about myself, 
the more I learned that
intellect and logic did not going to heal my loss or anyone else's loss.

A heart with ears- a witness to my grief- 
to their grief- 
is all that was needed. 

While working with these unsung heroes,
I felt that I was making an impact on a more nourishing world. 
with these unsung heroes. 

I did not want it to end. 

But the grant that supported my work did end. 

And now I am ready to share all of these experiences with you,
if you are ready for it.  

If you or your organization is willing and able
to learn the tools that can help any one with any loss, 
let's connect.  

Together we can normalize grief by lightening losses one heart at a time. 

Thank you!

PS- If you know anyone in the United States who has experienced loss,
please offer to contact the American Red Cross. 
(www.redcross.org/find-your-local-chapter.html). 

I was not aware of this great resource that has a team of heroes who will be with you within 24 hours of your loss.

​They will guide and navigate you through resources
(including a free night's stay at a hotel) and offer emotional and mental support. ​